He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
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you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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