no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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