You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
