Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
