I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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