god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm passing your future prison.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
