i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize