Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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