Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
