Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
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Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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