I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
