The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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