Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
