I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
