worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize