last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
