pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Im part way to drunk.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize