Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
