we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
