someone threw a dead crab at me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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