Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Still dying that you shit outside
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
