I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
