Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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