Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
