Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
