also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
