I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
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are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
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I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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