she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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