Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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