oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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