Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
her vagine was all disorganized.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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