I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
