she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize