is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
