he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
