OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
