Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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