I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
