I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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