it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
