Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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