Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Small penises have feelings too.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
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i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.