my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
