and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
