Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
