The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
