butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
