Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
