remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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