I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My vagina just recognized that song.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
