you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
