I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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