I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
