I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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