If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
