I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
