sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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