TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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