Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
