i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
