toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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