just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
