Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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